My daughter has chosen to stay home from summer camp this summer, and instead, spend her days by my side as my “assistant”/”apprentice”. So for the past several weeks, Sarah has been by my side, peering over my shoulder as I take business lunches and dinners (she files the receipts), learning Quickbooks and internet research, being my little VA So today, I wanted her to start off the week in reflection. I asked her to write an essay about the top 5 things she has learned this summer by hanging out with me.

This is her actual essay. And here are my thoughts on her 5 success secrets:

1) It’s okay to be crazy.

Crazy like fully self-expressed crazy, like stretch your comfort zone crazy.  When you are so concerned about what others think of you, or staying within some socially-acceptable parameter, the very thing you’re looking for (approval, respect, acceptance) eludes you. It’s such an interesting paradox that the mavericks, and those who dance to the beat of their own drum, not only get far more self-fulfillment, but gain the respect of others as well.

2)  Don’t be afraid to cry.

Sarah has seen my share of crying with a coaching client on the phone, or even with my mentor when I’m being pushed past my own limits. But you know what, she’s right: It does make you feel better,  and an authentic cry can connect people more deeply than any philosophizing ever could.

3) Everyone is an angel.

This is a hard pill to swallow, isn’t it? I can hear you now, “There is NO WAY that blankety-blank that cut me off in traffic is an angel.” But I think Sarah is on to something here: It is PARTICULARLY those who push your buttons and make you question your patience or abilities that are in a unique position to help you craft who you are and what you offer the world.

4) Take off your filters.

Sarah says that when you get into an argument, figure out each side of the story. That means, don’t be so positioned in your own point and trying to make the other person “see” your way, that you forget each interaction with the people in your life is an opportunity to either strengthen those bonds or destroy them. When you are clear enough about your position that you can step off it for a while to see someone else’s point of view, you not only get a better understanding of the other person, but you might also discover something about yourself that you hadn’t considered before.

5) Set specific goals and surround yourself with people who support them.

Don’t just say “I want to make more money.” How much more? By when? If you tell me “I want to make more money”, and I hand you a dollar, you’ve just accomplished your goal. You must be definite with the infinite. State your goal in specific, measurable ways, and then design a plan to get there. If you don’t know quite how, surround yourself with mentors and peers who will push you to achieve that goal. I love what she says in her essay “If they don’t support you, it’s time to get better friends.” Amen!

And there you have it, Sarah’s Success Secrets. No excuse now, don’t let a 12-year-old beat you at your own game of success! Do you have other success secrets to share with Sarah (she’ll be checking this post quite frequently, trust me!). Leave me a comment so we can build up Sarah’s Success Secrets library.

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