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Peace Keeper or Peace Maker?
She walked out fuming. How dare that spineless “colleague” of hers make decisions without consulting with her first? She called her coach (i.e., me) to vent and get clarity. Her blood pressure is up, her breathing is shallow, her stomach is queasy, and she can’t concentrate. She is what I like to call, a peace keeper.
People who like to keep the peace usually avoid conflict, evade discomfort, leave things unsaid, and “let things pass”… And they pay heavy prices. For the sake of keeping the peace, some people are willing to lose money, risk their physical health, step over other people’s feelings (although they’d never see it that way because they’re “just keeping the peace”), even forego a soul mate and soul purpose. Somewhere, viscerally, it makes sense: If I keep the peace, I won’t have to risk, I won’t have to be rejected, I won’t have to deal with the maddening uncertainty of life, I won’t have to be wrong or feel “out of control.”
A peace maker, on the other hand, is willing to step through it all, to get to peace. What I mean is this: If peace is the safe, clean, integrous place where people are free to be 100% themselves by themselves or with each other, pursuing their highest/deepest truth, then a peace-maker is someone who is willing to go through discomfort, conflict, speak the uncomfortable truth, bring up and deal with emotions we often want to hide from, risk rejection, be okay with uncertainty, be willing to not have to be right or in control all the time, all for the sake of enjoying peace within themselves and with the people surrounding them.
Hey, don’t get me wrong. Peace makers pay some prices too. They may not hear the answer the want to hear when they bring up an uncomfortable conversation. They may face rejection, or failure. The thrill of uncertainty as they jump the chasm to their dreams may end up by falling flat on their face. It can be frustrating when you do not see possibilities or solutions, even when you really want to. Peace keepers sit in no-possibility because that’s all they see, and it’s easier to navigate (faith, after all, is evidence of things unseen). Peace makers are willing to go at it blind, bump into things, for the sake of reaching that which up til now they have only imagined.
Quick quiz: Is there someone in your life right now with whom you haven’t said everything there is to say? Do you owe someone money and have been avoiding them? Do you cut a conversation short because you don’t want to “have to go there” with a particular person sooner or later? Or even deeper, are you believing/feeling something that you haven’t even admitted to yourself?
It’s time for integrity.
Make peace.
Peace is not a cheap harlot, to be kept, bought or bribed, and then turned away when it gets ugly.
It is a precious gift to be made and offered to those you touch and who touch you. If for nothing/no one else, because YOU deserve peace.
